American Dragon Jake Long

This is your territory,

young dragon...

And you alone

are responsible

for the magical creatures

living within it.

From the centaur herds

of Highbridge Park...

To the floor of the secret

leprechaun stock exchange.

From the gargoyle nest

on top of the Empire State Building...

To the mermaids

of the East River.


Hey, kid, if you can make it here,

you'll make it anywhere.


Ah, no problem.

I am totally on it.

But first,

you must master

your dragon training

one step at a time.

Even a young falcon

must stand

before it can fly.

Check this out, G.

Dragon up, yo!

Bow! I'm not only ready to fly,

I'm ready to soar!




Bad dudes beware 'cause

the American Dragon is in the house!



Aah! Unh!

I'm cool.

No prob.


C... C... Could you guys...

A little help

down here?



We dragons are creatures

of immense magical power.

But to unlock

your potential,

you must keep training,

and master the fundamentals.

Dragon fire!

Dragon teeth!

Dragon tongue!

Dragon claws!

Dragon tail!

Ha! Right!

Yo, I'm all over it, Grandpa.

And a dragon student

must obey his dragon master,

without question

or hesitation.

Totally. I'm

all about obeying.

Whatever you say,

whenever you say it.


Oh! Blecch!

Blue cheese with a touch

of sweat sock.

It's the Huntsman.

I'd know that foot stink anywhere.

The Huntsman?

You sure, Fu Dog?

What's he doing here?

Ahh, you tell us,

young one.

Huntsman's footprints

head north/south

on the night

of a full moon.



He's hunting unicorns!


Give the kid a prize!

Ah, yes.

Unicorn horns.

Always a valuable commodity

on the magical black market.

What's going down?

Are we gonna cr*ck open

a can of smack daddy

on this Huntsman here

or what?

Not we, you.

Me? As in alone?


I will not be around


It's time you put

your dragon training to the test.

Right! Ha!

Put my mad skizz-ills

to the test.

I'm all over it.

FU: Hey, hey!

Make it good, kid.

I'm calling Ernie

and laying 50 biscuits on you.

Hey, Big Ernie!

Ho ho! It's Fu!

I need to make a bet.


Give him

dragon fire.

Taste my dragon breath,







My bad, guys!

Whoa! Watch it!

Hot cheeks!

Hot cheeks!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!




Oh, come on.

Dragon up.

Oh! Dragon up!

Oh! Now would be nice!

Say good-bye, dragon!

Whoa! Unh!

Ha ha! Is that all

you got, Huntsman?

'Cause I'm about to

come over there and...


How was that, Huntsmaster?

Very nice, Huntsgirl.

Your training has served you well.



Come on, now,

what's a nice girl like you doing

hunting unicorns?


What's a nice

guy like you

doing outside

in his undies?

Huh? Oh!

Well, I...

You have

a golden opportunity

to slay

your first dragon.

Finish him!

With pleasure.


This is not over,


Ah, tough break, kid.

Almost as bad as

when you tangled

with those mountain

trolls last week.

Aah! Ow! Ooh! Ow!


Or the week before that,

when you took on the giants?

Oh! Oh!


Or the week before that,

when those field pixies

tossed you a beatin'.

Aah! Oh! Unh!

Young dragon,

you must learn

that smack daddy

does not come in a can.


we step up your training.

Be on rooftop

right after school.

Ahh, okay.

I'll be there, Grandpa.

...which brings us

to the topic of dragons.

Now, if you'll turn

to chapter 237

of my groundbreaking

yet unpublished 1984 thesis

entitled Mythobiology:

a Scientific Study

of the Magical Creatures

Among Us,

you'll see

that I describe dragons

as an evolutionary offshoot

of the dinosaurs.

Thus, what can we conclude

about the size

of a dragon's brain? Mr. Long!

Uh, well, um,

I would conclude

that dragons have

very large brains.

I mean, they'd probably be

pretty smart and cool.


We can assume that a dragon's brain

is about...

About the size of a pea.

Maybe a walnut.

-But I thought...

-Not with the... Quiet.

Write that down, Mr. Long. It's certain

to be on your final examination.

Aw, man.

TRIXIE: Hey, yo, Mr. Rot...


-Yeah. Professor Rotwood.

This is mythology class

up in here, right?

So, how can you know

about the size

of a dragon's brain?

I mean, elves, unicorns?

That stuff isn't even

really real, yo.

Heh. Yo, yo.

Yes, well, you know,

this is certainly the prevailing belief

now, isn't it, you know?

However, some great minds

have devoted the bulk

of their careers

and indeed their lives

to proving otherwise!

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

well, you know, of course,

this... This kind of

academic courage, you know,

doesn't, you know, come

without a price, of course.

Not unlike being ridiculed

by one's colleagues!

Or being banished from every

respectable educational institution

in the world!

Or even being... Help me...

Or even being reduced

to teaching

in the public schools!



Oh, okey-dokey.

Class dismissed.

-TRIXIE: Hey, yo, Jake!

-SPUD: Dude.

What's cr*ck-alatin',


Yo, what's up, Trixie?


We cruisin' over

to Washington Park Right about now.

We gonna shred

some serious asphalt.

Last time we hit that place,

Spud got a concussion.

Ha ha! No way!

That was

totally a case

of subcutaneous

occipital trauma.


No worries, bro.

Yeah, whatever.

So, what up?

You in or are you in?

Oh, I wish, Trixie,

but I gotta work at

my Grandpa's shop today.

Again? Aw, man.

That's, like, the...

1, 2, 4, 23... No...

Eleven-teenth time

this week, dude.

What up?

It's stressing me out.

Yeah, man, for real! Don't we have

some kind of child labor laws

in this city

or something?

Yo, maybe next time,

guys, aiight? Holla!

Yeah, aiight.

Holla at your girl.

Adiós, buddy.


Oh, my bad.

I'm sorry about the...


-Hi yourself.

Hey! That's a really

cool dragon tattoo.

ROSE: Actually,

it's a birthmark.


I'll, uh,

see you around, okay?

Yes! Yes!

Most definitely! Yeah.

Oh, well, I mean,

you know,

if I have time

and you have time,

we can k*ll some time.


...and 3, 2, 1.

He's late!

Goo goo goo goo!

I'm here! I'm here!

I'm here! Whoa!

You are late,

young dragon.

Say what?

By, like, 3 seconds!

3 seconds or 3 hours,

late is late!

HUNTSMAN: Ahh, yes.

Do you know what would

look magnificent stuffed

and mounted on the wall

of the Huntslair?

Let me guess.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

I'm cool, I'm cool.

A pair of dragon skins?



GRANDPA: Today, we will begin

old school dragon training.

Yo, bring it, G.

What are we starting with today,

extreme aerial maneuvers?

A little fireball action?

I'm ready to rock

over here.

Begin in bathroom.

Say what?

You must clean toilet

using circular motion,

first clockwise,

then counterclockwise.

Uh, if you say so.

Aah! Not with hand!

You must clean toilet

using only dragon tongue.

My tongue?

On that?

Ha ha! Nuh-uh, no way,

fuh-get about it.

Are you not

dragon student?

Did you not pledge

to obey dragon master?

I really don't remember

every single thing

that we'd agreed upon.

Totally! I am

all about obeying.

Whatever you say,

whenever you say it.


Aw, man!

You cannot be serious!

Circular motion.

First clockwise, then counterclockwise.

JAKE: Ew! Aah!

This is nasty.

I'm gonna throw up!


Hurry up! Grandpa has more

old school training waiting.






Oh! That's foul!

SPUD: Ha ha!

Aiight, Trixie!


Put it down, baby!

-Go, girl!

-That's what's up!


Oh, Jake!

I think the toilet's gonna need

a little touch-up.

Ha ha ha!

You are done

with training for today.


You call this training?

I call it being

your house boy.

What's cleaning your toilet

and sweeping your floor

have to do with being

the American Dragon?

The seed does not question

where the wind takes it.

In other words, listen to the old man.

Come back tomorrow,

and get ready. Fu Dog's gonna need

a deep wrinkle massage.



I'm telling you, Mom,


has seriously lost it.

Yeah, uh-huh.


You can chop

the vegetables now!

All right! Check out my Japanese

chopping-yake technique.

I mean, he's turned

dragon training into gag-me training.

Days like today make me

wish I could just be

a normal human

like Dad.


(SINGING) ♪ Who's that cow

With the halo on her head ♪


lose the claws!

♪ And an udder made of gold ♪

♪ 'Cause she's all grain fed ♪

♪ Oh, the cow... ♪

And, uh, I use

the term "normal"

very loosely.

♪ Moo ♪

Hey, great news,


I just landed...

The Wholesome Heifer

account! Huh? Okay.

Wholesome Heifer

is the city's largest

organic milk producer.

The head honcho

and his wife

are coming over

for dinner tomorrow night

to seal the deal!

Congratulations, honey.


Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! Look at the violin

concerto I composed at school today.

Oh, peanut,

that is so cute.

Uh, Mom, are we

ever gonna tell Dad

that he married into a family

of magical reptiles?

Well, of course, dear.

It's just that your

father's always been so, you know...

I think we need to wait

for the right moment.

A time when, uh...

Well, uh, a time when...

There's a spider on me!

Get it off! Get it off!

Oh. Oh, wait.

Oh, it's just a fuzzy. Ha! False alarm.

A time when we think

he can handle it.

Unh! Ecch!

All I can taste is toilet brush. Ecch!

Listen, Jake? I know this whole thing

has been hard on you.

First, you find out

you're a dragon...

That's cool.

It was the whole,

"By the way, you're responsible

"for protecting an entire magical

underworld" that's freaking me out.

Well, that's why it's

so important for you

to master

your dragon powers.

Believe me, I know

your grandfather can be

a bit eccentric,

but you just have

to trust him, okay?


♪ When I think of all

The times I fell in love ♪

♪ When I think of all the girls ♪

♪ I was dreaming of ♪

♪ When I think of all the years ♪

♪ That are to come ♪

♪ I love you better ♪

♪ When I... ♪

-Hey, yo, Jake!


Wake up, dawg!

Don't even tell me

you're still crushing

on that Rhodes girl.

She's so far out

of your league,

you don't even

know it.

Dude, she's like Tiger

burning the 18th at Pebble Beach,

and you're like

9-putting the windmill

at Coney Island


Man, forget her.

We got serious business.

They just reopened

the 14th Street skate park!

BOTH: We gonna hit that!

Oh, sounds sweet, Trix,

but, you know, I gotta...

Dude! No!

Not working in the shop again!

That's, like, the...

1, 2, 4...

Wake up, Jake!

that old dude

is, like, stealing

your youth, man.


I... I can't do it,

Trix. Sorry.

Aiight. But I'm telling you, Jake,

you're missing out here.

Sign here.

Hurry up

and get to training!

Must use dragon teeth

to scoop sludge

out of Grandpa's

rain gutter!


Yo, Trixie, Spud!

Wait up, guys!

Uh, yeah. Jake is one hour

late for training.

I got a bad feeling

in the pit of my stomach.

Oh, you're telling me.

But that's what we get

for eating lunch

at a place called

the Chimichanga Chuckwagon.

Oh! Hold down

the fort, Pops,

'cause nature's

calling 911!


Jake, where are you?

Something must be wrong.

How right you are.

Dragon, we meet again.


It is always a pleasure to defeat you!






Forget it, old man.

That net is pure sphinx hair.


Well, one dragon down,

one to go.


Okay, Fu Dog,

just keep quiet.

They'll never know

you're in here.


Who's in there? Open up!

I really gotta stop

talking to myself.


Here goes nothing.




Yeah! Yeah!

This is only like

the best day ever!

Ha ha! Whoop!

Ah, this is

the worst day ever!

Lost in a sewer,

no cell service.

How come Lassie

always made

this getting help stuff

look so glamorous.

Who dares to enter the lair

of the one-eyed sewer troll?

Easy there, tiger.

I'm just...


Is that you?

Fu-ster? Hey!

You're a sight

for sore eye.

What's it been,

2-300 years?

What brings you

down here?

Serious trouble, Stan.

I gotta get to the East Village pronto.

Say no more.

I know a shortcut under the zoo.

Ah, more sewer.

Oh, Jake, there you are.

Hurry and wash up.

Dad's clients

are already here.

Uh, Haley,

a little help, honey?

Who's ready

for mushroom caps?


-Fu? Yo, dawg,

we do have

a doggie door.

Kid, where were you?

Fu, I don't even

want to hear it.

Grandpa must be buggin'

if he thinks he's gonna

make me clean

his whole house with...

You don't understand!

You left me and Gramps

waiting for you on the roof.

We were sitting ducks out there.

-When the Huntsman showed up...

-The Huntsman? Where's Grandpa now.

Look, long story short,

It ain't looking good for the old man.

This is all my fault.

We gotta go get help.

No! I've gotta do this.

Uh, look, no offense, kid, but we

don't got time for no dress rehearsal.

It's showtime! And you

haven't even mastered

going full dragon yet.

Watch me.

Dragon up!

♪ Drag-drag-drag-drag-dragon up ♪

Hey! I did it!

Check me out!

I'm the American Dragon!


-Okay, let's fly, kid!

Uh, you can fly, can't you?

So, as you can see,

we're just your normal,


milk-drinking family. Whoopsie!



So, who'd like salad?

I'll ask you

one last time, old man.

Where is the American Dragon?

Right under your nose, dude!

I'm like a booger that way. Ha!

Wait. That didn't

come out right.

Allow me. I have

unfinished business with this dragon.





Ow! Ow! Ow!

Stop it!

Yo, Big Ernie!

Yeah, it's Fu.

I want to lay down

some cookies on a bet.

-Hey, get off!

-Hey, what, are we strangers?

You know I'm good for it.


Hah! Hyah!

Try my fastball!

No! Oh!


American Dragon,

prepare to become

a pair of boots!

Young one!

Clean toilet bowl!

(THINKING) First clockwise,

then counterclockwise.


How did he... Unh!

Hey! It worked! Ha ha!

Who the man now,


Huh, Hunts-punk?

Yeah, you want some?

There's some more

where that came from.


-Young one! Sweep floor!


-Ernie, Ernie! I changed my mind!

Put all my biscuits on the kid!

Yeah, that's right, the whole thing!


-Unh! Hey!

Check you out.

You're good, Huntsgirl.



Hyah! Unh!

Ooh, you're really good.

You're not so bad yourself,

dragon boy.



-Kid! Behind you!







-We'll be back!

-And I'll be ready.

Uh, kid, you got

a little problem downstairs.

Aw, man!

I knew you could

do it, kid.

I didn't doubt you

for a second.

Okay, I did,

but that's

why you love me,

right? Come on.

Well done, young dragon.

But word to the wise,

it is not good idea to flirt

with mortal enemies.

Trust Grandpa.

He's been there.

Even a mortal enemy

that fine?

Come on, Gramps.

Many battles lie ahead.

We pick training up tomorrow,

right after school!

I'll be there, Grandpa,

right on time.

I'm sorry

I doubted you.

Come. It's late.

Fu Dog and I walk you home.

Ahh. Okay,

so I get the whole

cleaning the toilet

with the tongue thing now.

No problem.

Very useful stuff.

-Disgusting, but useful.


And that whole

sweeping the floor with the tail thing?

I see how that's gonna

come in handy, too.


-But what about the part

where I did all your laundry?

I mean, you had me scrubbing

all your nasty socks and drawers.

Ecch! What's up with that?

What's up was Grandpa

needed his laundry done.

FU: And tomorrow,

you get to do mine. (LAUGHING)

JAKE: But... But I just...

Aw, man!